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Post by braided-rug on Dec 31, 2008 18:50:39 GMT 10
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Post by violet on Jan 6, 2009 13:08:48 GMT 10
This is such a tough issue, because as well as one's beliefs are the additional issues of money and health.
My three were all born by cesearan as I'm simply not built to give birth. I was told that three full-term pregnancies was all my body could cope with, and given the amount of pain I was in during the final three months while pregnant with dd, I think that was correct.
So I had a tubal ligation at the delivery. I'd had a blood clot in my leg after ds number 2, and therefore could not use the most reliable form of contraception. I have never regretted being sterilised, although it did cause other long-term problems which were eventually rectified surgically. But I understand that not everyone has my limited capacity to bear, or for that matter cope with, children, nor my pragmatic outlook.
It's a tough issue.
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Post by braided-rug on Jan 6, 2009 14:51:11 GMT 10
My doctor actually wanted to do a tubal ligation if I had a cesearan last time, which was on the cards.
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Post by violet on Jan 6, 2009 18:47:39 GMT 10
I think that the decision to have no more children can be easier if made due to circumstances beyond our control.
So many women I've known have struggled with this over the years. I think it's terribly sad when the woman wants more children, but the husband refuses to contemplate the idea. Two woman, both second wives, wanted to have another child but the husbands made it clear before they married that they would not consider more than one. It seemed as though one child would be enough when they married, but as the years rolled on both women really struggled with it.
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Post by braided-rug on Jan 7, 2009 8:19:03 GMT 10
Wow, that is interesting. After I had my second child, I am a second wife, people (other than my husband) made it clear I had done the wrong thing. Must be another social thing that I am not aware of.
My husband actually did something permanent last year, but as we live along way from some parts of pathology it makes testing that much harder. 1 1/2 hour drive, 2 hour deadline. It was meant to be done this month.
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Post by violet on Jan 7, 2009 9:06:54 GMT 10
Br, everyone has an opinion on what we should do with our lives that is based on their own experiences in their own lives, which is irrelevant to ours!
I think that a large factor in deciding the number of children to have is cost. The question of how many kids can be afforded, which I confess never crossed my mind, is something I've heard asked many, many times over the years. Perhaps it was on that basis that your choice to have more than one child was questioned?
Again, of course, it comes down to people thinking they know everything about everyone else's life, which is nonsense.
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Post by braided-rug on Jan 7, 2009 12:44:22 GMT 10
Actually, originally I thought since I had two stepchildren living with us at the time, that I had gone over three.
I think that must still stand as the person who said it is also a second wife, with one stepchild. She has two of her own, then had one extra I think. Interesting actually. It is hard to remember now if the last was unplanned or not.
The second one has three children and a strong sense of family loyalty.
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