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Post by daddys3chicks on Jul 4, 2006 0:14:02 GMT 10
...feel it is their duty to try and get me to work outside the home? I was at a friend's scrapbooking Friday night. I mentioned that our pastor's wife (who is a nurse in a ped office) was looking for someone FT to work in the office. My friend immediately jumped on this.
She started telling me how I could "make it work", what fun my girls would have a daycare and summer camp, how I could get premade frozen meals to serve at night.
I told her that 1) I don't want to be stressed out by trying to juggle a job and home - I just can't do it 2) I will only have Amanda home for one more year and I don't want to miss that 3) I just don't know where I would find childcare for them.
Her response? "You can always find and excuse....". Lovely. I don't try to comvince her that she is making a bad choice by working outside the home. That is her decision. Why is mine less valid?
Okay, our finances stink. I need to be a better manager and not spend any money. But, I truly believe that this is where god wants me right now. Why is that so hard to accept.
And of course, I start feeling guilty for NOT taking the job. Maybe I should help? Maybe things would be better? Ugh.
I can't imagine that the job would even pay $10 an hour. Even if it did - before taxes - I would have to pay for daycare and afterschool care for the girls, gas and wear and tear on the van, scrubs to wear to work, and lunches. I am sure working would have an impact on how many meals I would actually cook.
So in the end, what would I be working for? To pay someone to come and clean my house twice a month because I am too tired to do it?
Anyway, I am just exasperated. I talked with a dear older, wiser, friend at church, and she kept telling me to stop feeling guilty. She said, if and when, God wanted me to take an outside job, it would be clear.
Funny how everytime I turn down an outside job, I get more paid sewing or crocheting orders - LOL!
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Michelle
Regular Contributor
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Post by Michelle on Jul 4, 2006 2:02:50 GMT 10
I'm sorry Cheryl. I hate that people think it's their business what you are doing with your life. Hugs.
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Post by cara on Jul 4, 2006 5:49:10 GMT 10
Make your own decisions Cheryl and stick with it. You can make it on one salary if you really stick to a budget and the girls will be much better off with Mom home. The cost of day care is outrageous and who knows better how to raise your children than you do. I worked a bit in my life but ONLY when dh was laid off and we had no income, or when I wanted to pay to send them to a Christian school. Other than that I stayed home and I have never once been sorry. You cannot tell me that there is one woman out there who wouldn't stay home in a flash if she could and would....
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lynn
Regular Contributor
~Inspired To Be Far Above Rubies~
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
Posts: 1,572
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Post by lynn on Jul 4, 2006 6:18:11 GMT 10
Cheryl,
I am right there with ya'....I know how you feel....and I feel the exact same way you do and ditto with Cara.
I read a blog recently that addressed this issue and I loved it! Let me see if I can find it and will post a link for you.
Hugs,
Lynn
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Post by daddys3chicks on Jul 4, 2006 7:05:15 GMT 10
Thanks ladies - I knew you would understand!
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Post by teddymaker on Jul 4, 2006 10:57:04 GMT 10
Big hugs Cheryl...I also understand ...People could never understand how I could be happy at home.....Raising your girls and being home with them is the most important job you will ever have...So what if you are having financial difficulties...money is nothing in the bigger scheme of things...Hang in there hon, and as for your friend, I would tell her to mind her own business!!
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Post by braided-rug on Jul 4, 2006 10:58:39 GMT 10
I had that happen once and my reply was "I don't need an excuse" and somehow it worked.
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Post by violet on Jul 4, 2006 12:26:47 GMT 10
Cheryl I think most working mothers feel some guilt about the time they have available for their kids, and having you staying at home may make her feel guilty too. It could also just be that she can see you'd be terrific for the job, if only you didn't have other priorities right now.
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Deed
Treasured
~Super Savvy Seamstress~
Posts: 2,240
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Post by Deed on Jul 6, 2006 22:01:35 GMT 10
Cheryl, I don't have (human) kiddos and get the same thing. You don't really want to know what I said to my sister, LOL but other's that say it to me, I just ignore them. I had a steady job for over 20 years and not only lost myself and my mind to it, but was so unhappy most of the time. I so enjoy being home and Jack loves having me here too.
NO ONE is living your life or paying YOUR bills, so you do what is working for you and your family and just ignore those people that say otherwise! {{{Cheryl}}}
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Post by daddys3chicks on Jul 6, 2006 23:11:27 GMT 10
Thanks Deed! I think that I look ahead and wonder what they'll say when I am still at home after both girls are in school. I agree about losing yourself and your mind at a job - I just need to focus on one thing at a time. I can't split myself and work outside the home and then do justice to my job here. Thanks for the HUGS!
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Michelle
Regular Contributor
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Post by Michelle on Jul 6, 2006 23:15:18 GMT 10
Thanks Deed! I think that I look ahead and wonder what they'll say when I am still at home after both girls are in school. I agree about losing yourself and your mind at a job - I just need to focus on one thing at a time. I can't split myself and work outside the home and then do justice to my job here. Thanks for the HUGS! I'm getting those comments too now the both girls are in school full time. People don't think further to the cost of day care during the summers, splitting life into work & home, and just plain wanting to stay home for the kids! (I must add though that I have been looking for a job for some months now for financial reasons--not because I want to but because I have to). |
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lynn
Regular Contributor
~Inspired To Be Far Above Rubies~
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
Posts: 1,572
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Post by lynn on Jul 7, 2006 3:35:39 GMT 10
The comments get worse and more frequent, Cheryl, when the kids get bigger. Folks just don't get it. Better start thinking of some good rebuttals, now. LOL. Still looking for that blog link.
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Post by braided-rug on Jul 7, 2006 10:17:24 GMT 10
I face this next January Cheryl when my youngest goes to school.
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Post by daddys3chicks on Jul 10, 2006 23:42:14 GMT 10
Well, I still have Amanda at home this year. But even when they both are in school full time I want to be at home. This will give me time to get my house bad in order (which is NOT going to happen with them here with me). And, maybe I can focus a bit more on sewing and making some pin money.
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Post by daddys3chicks on Jul 10, 2006 23:49:08 GMT 10
I used this website www.crown.org/Tools/mommake.asp to figure my possible income versus daycare costs. At $10 an hour after school time care I lose -$96 dollars a month. For summer child care I lose -$296 a month! The last time I talked to someone about a medical office job the pay was only $7 an hour so the $10 is optimistic at best. At $7 a hour summer costs me -$728, and with school time care it costs me -$528! Sheesh! |
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