There has to be a better way :(

[gardentalk]

My wife and I are the proud parents of a very cute little 3-month old boy. I'm amazed that he wasn't cursed with my 'looks', LOL. Dear God, if all little children look 'cute', then please let Ryan stay 3-months old forever.

My wife is a nurse, and I am a factory worker. I do have a two-year college degree, but essentially (in IT) it's worthless. I'm not blessed with the pieces of paper (certifications that costs hundreds of dollars each to obtain) that say I can boot up a computer and hook wires to it, LOL. Lately my wife and I, in an attempt to go all-out in getting caught up on our bills and out of debt, have been working crazy schedules. My job's schedule is 3rd shift, and rotates each month to opposite days of the week (i.e., month1=M,Tu,W,Thu...month2=Thu,Fri,Sat,Sun). My wife, BECAUSE of my wacky work schedule, has to work per diem as a nurse. That means, that in addition to her working a wacky schedule as well, she's not even guaranteed a number of hours each week.

The way it has been working out is that when I'm working she is watching Ryan, and sleeping whenever Ryan nurses..and whenever my wife works, I'm up at all hours of the night trying to get Ryan to sleep. I get probably 2-3 hours of sleep each night my wife works. My job is almost an hour away, which means I have 14 hour work days. It's killing me. I'm so tired anymore, that I sleep during the day (we have no air conditioning, just fans that we move from room to room), and it seems that all I do is work and sleep.

We talked again today about how we can make this better. Putting Ryan in daycare isn't an option, since they want records of immunizations, and we chose not to go the route of shots. He *may* get sick in the future, but he's been perfectly fine up to this point (knock on wood). Going the route of private baby-sitting might mean that he gets more attention and love, but we'd be at the mercy of someone who might not be available (which would mean that my wife or I have to call in sick at work, and lose our jobs). That leaves us with changing jobs again. I used to be a night-hawk, ladies and gentlemen, but since Ryan came into my life my priorities have changed. I want to be able to feed him at the dinner table, give him tubbies, read stories to him, and tuck him in at night, AND get to spend time with my wonderful wife. Currently we're not able to do that.

Anyone else here having these sorts of problems?

[braided-rug]

Hi, nice to see you. First of all I am glad things worked out with the factory, it must be a relief to be getting somewhere with the bills.

My experience is that at 3 months things get slightly easier with a baby and at 6 months it is alot easier.

Maybe the bills will sort themselves out a bit too, or maybe the work schedule without having to do anything. You can always hope.

I am pleased for you your little boy still looks nice lol.

It is a shame you have to work weekends. We have experience with 2nd shift, but not weekends, although dh did alot of othertime when at the factory in the first year.

I remember at the end of last summer we were all so tired just from the heat. Our state has very long daylight saving now, and it just seems to drag on.

I am thinking things might settle down in the next few weeks, I hope so anyway.

[violet]

Ok, so you have a three month old, two jobs, debts, and don't cross paths with your spouse very often, and get almost no sleep. Doesn't sound great to me.

Are you actively looking for another job, of any sort? Is there any possibility of finding another job in the area where you live? Is there any way (I assume not, but still) you could cajole your work into giving you a regular shift, even it's a day less a month or whatever?

Is there a reason Ryan isn't sleeping well? Can you get some expert advice/help with that? As Br said, they do settle down, but minimal sleep is not a good thing for any of you.

I personally chose to immunise my kids, but wouldn't send them to daycare because I felt they'd be more likely to get sick when exposed to so many other kids. Rather than going down the daycare path, would it be possible for your wife to work a day less a week? Paying for any sort of childcare often negates any profit from working. Is it possible that the debts can wait a bit longer? Do you have a good budget in place?

Sorry to ask so many questions, but I wonder whether there's another solution. I feel so sorry for you going through this, it's so hard on all of you.