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Post by violet on Feb 24, 2009 17:01:03 GMT 10
For those of us who find it hard to express our own needs and tend to simply go along with what everyone else wants from us: www.abc.net.au/rn/lifematters/stories/2009/2495850.htmThis is the same woman who is interviewed in the Midlife Matters series Br posted. The other segments, on foster care and particularly early-onset dementia, are well worth listening to. |
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Post by braided-rug on Mar 8, 2009 11:50:01 GMT 10
She certainly made me think the first day. I'm off to read it now. I must say I find I have felt I have been saying too much, especially when my asthma reliever wears off!
I liked the bit at the end where it says that people that have been passive?, when they are assertive it comes across as agressive. I have been wondering why my children sometimes act like I have been yelling at them, and they sometimes even say that I have.
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Post by braided-rug on Mar 8, 2009 15:45:23 GMT 10
I wonder if you learn to be assertive by default with a house full of teenagers?
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linda
Moderator 
~Exuberant Seachanger~
Posts: 425
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Post by linda on Mar 8, 2009 20:34:26 GMT 10
I wonder if you learn to be assertive by default with a house full of teenagers? Yes.....I think so  ;D Off to check out the link. Linda |
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Post by violet on Mar 11, 2009 15:28:52 GMT 10
I think I've become more easy-going as the kids have gotten older (actually, I've given up - they've finally defeated me :  . The podcast is about assertiveness in relation to having one's needs met. Off the top of my head, I can think of the following: "No, I don't want to go to dinner with your friends x. You are welcome to go, but I don't enjoy being with x because they both drink so much that I find them boring after an hour." Or, "Yes, I do need to buy clothes sometimes because while it's theoretically possible to dress in the same 3 t shirts and 2 pairs of pants for ten years or more, I don't want to. And faded black is not flattering." "No, I'm not going to ask your father for money for you to buy x. If you want it, you talk to him." "No, I am not available to make dinner for you and your gf tonight because it's 6.45pm, we've finished eating, and you said you didn't want dinner when I asked you this afternoon so I didn't make enough for 6 people. And your brother ate everything that was left anyhow." There, I feel better now. |
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Post by braided-rug on Mar 11, 2009 17:43:41 GMT 10
This one works very well:
"No, I'm not going to ask your father for money for you to buy x. If you want it, you talk to him."
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;D
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