Post by Deed on Jan 16, 2006 3:09:58 GMT 10
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to Me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
_______________________
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
_______________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_______________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished
for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned
ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
__________________
A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to
forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for
Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
________________________________
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
__________________________________
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
________________________________
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
_________________________________
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
___________________________________
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
__________________________________
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
__________________________________
Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take
it!
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to Me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
_______________________
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
_______________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
_______________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished
for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned
ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
__________________
A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to
forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for
Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
________________________________
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
__________________________________
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
________________________________
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
_________________________________
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
___________________________________
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
__________________________________
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
__________________________________
Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take
it!
