Post by Deed on May 7, 2006 0:36:35 GMT 10
PMS
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in
the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth
and he takes his very life into his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common
as a driver's license in the wallet of every
husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff.
...And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember:
Money talks...but chocolate sings!
Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not
happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his
forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.
Here have some chocolate.
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in
the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth
and he takes his very life into his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common
as a driver's license in the wallet of every
husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff.
...And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember:
Money talks...but chocolate sings!
Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not
happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his
forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.
Here have some chocolate.
