Family Time plans??

[ellise]

I was just wondering what you do when your teens go off to college, the military, get married or whatever. How did you handle it?

Like Holidays, Do the holidays then become celebrated at your home as opposed to your parents home?

Vacations? Is it still appropriate to have your children and their respective spouse join you on your vacations? If so then how many? all, only big trips,
What about day trips?

I'm not talking going shopping or anything like that I am talking about taking a trip to the mountains, or going skiing.

I'm just courious as to how this works, because Daniel will be leaving for college in 3 years (I know long time to go) but I just don't know how these things are suppose to work.

[Admin]

Ellise, I think it is individual and different with each family. I hated it when all my kids were gone. I was always at SAHM, so they were my life. I suffered a great deal with empty nest syndrome, and trust me there is such a thing.

I let the kids decide where they want to spend holidays. And I do think they should share with their spouses families. I do however, notice that some spend more time with me and other's spend more time with their spouses family. I try not to let it hurt me and just be thankful for the time I do get with them.

I do encourage my kids to stay home at Christmas and make family traditions of their own when the kids come along.

I think it might be fun to take family vacations, in fact dh and I were just saying last week to each other that perhaps next year we will rent a house boat and get all the kids to meet us with their families on the boat for a week.

I don't have daughter's in law, but if I did I would hope that she would love to join me in shopping or day trips. My daugher Lori loves to do those things with me.

Hope I have helped, but I think it is mostly a wait and see game. Just encourage Daniel to come home as often as he can.

[braided-rug]

If ds goes to the city where he wants to go, he may only get home on long weekends, which are dangerous on the roads, I hope he takes the train and we drive the 1 1/2 hours to pick him up even if it is early. Some of our kids are quite alot younger than him. He loves them, but I hope he still wants to spend time with us. If he can manage emotionally on his own I will be happy as it is such a long way away. He is very close to his 8 year old sister. He was fine when he went on his overseas trip and is tough I think. So I am hoping everything is great and that we keep in contact with messages. I think a residential college will be good because for the first year he can keep a similar routine to home.

[lynn]

This is right around the corner for me. Jeremy is 18 and will probably be moving out in less than a year to attend an agricultural college where he wants to major in business agri.

Honestly, I don't know how I will handle this "bend" in the road. And Ellise, you are so right on, girl. That 3 years will fly.....sigh.

You know, I try and tell myself that it's yet another clip in the apron string. From the moment they are born, every step they take is one toward independence. But that doesn't make it any easier, does it?

I will encourage him to come home as much as he wants/needs. But I can tell you from experience, I don't think I will pressure him to decide which family to spend holidays with once he marries. I know from experience it is not pleasant. I guess it's easy for me to say that now, but time will tell, huh? I just hope the Lord blesses me with some sweet dils. I have always tried to be one.....so I am hoping I will reap what I have sown, kwim?

Sorry for the length.....I kinda get carried away on this, since it is so close to happening to me!

[ampooh]

I'm 23 and this is how we handle the holidays. My little sisters are 13 and 11.

First, let me say that dh and I try to go up north (3 hours away) and visit my family at least once a month, usually twice a month. We leave either late friday night or early saturday morning depending on the time Jason (dh) gets off work and then come up on Sunday.

We live within 30 minutes of Jason's family, so we see them quite often.

We go up north for all birthdays, no matter what, LOL.

Thanksgiving, we always do down here in Rochester since Jason always has to work on the day after Thanksgiving. (Impossible for him to get off work, and I get it over every other year.) Ma usually does do a Thanksgiving type meal for us when we come up in November. Turkey or ham, stuffing, mashed taters & gravy, veggie, and someteimes pie.

Christmas, depending on how it falls on the calendar depends on where we go. For one side of the family we do it either the weekend before or weekend after Christmas. Last year we did this for Jason's family and we will doing it that way with Jason's family again. Also, Christmas at his family is not a big huge to do since all of his brothers & sister have significant others and it's next to impossible to get all of us together at one point at time.

New Years, Jason and I spend together, at home. Nice quiet evening, playing games and such. Don't want to be out with all of the crazies, LOL.

When Jason and I got married, Ma did encourage us to make our own holiday traditions and did not push us as what to do. This helped immensley. I do wish that our families lived closer so that we could do all holidays with both families, but it's simply not possible with the distance. But we make it work and go to what we can.

I do know that even if your children are not there with you on the holidays that they are thinking of you, and more than likely wish that they could be there with you. It's also just as hard, if not harder on the kids if they are not there for the holidays. I miss being with my family on all holidays, even though Jason's family is great. It's just not the same

Sorry for the long and rambly post.

Amber

[sunshine]

I'm sure it varies greatly. You do what feels right for your family. Here's what we have/are doing.

Jake lives on his own, but is close to us. He goes on day trips with us and we foot the bill. He takes his own spending money. We invited him on vacation this year to NY and CA, but he wasn't able to get off work for that amount of time. His SO goes on day trips with us as well.

Doug - just moved out this summer, and as a Marine- he doesn't get a choice. He'll be invited to day trips with us. . but I doubt he'll get to go on vacations with us (most of our vacations will probably involve going to see him anyway!) I take his SO with us on day trips as well.

Deana is still at home- we invite her SO on day trips with us.

When they are married, I'd like to take them all on vacations with us.