Post by ellise on Nov 20, 2005 3:18:51 GMT 10
by John Halderman of www.activepersonaldevelopment.com
Are you looking for more calm satisfying experiences in you daily life? Do you get frustrated with yourself at the end of the day, because you've been stressed, unfocused or agitated? Are you tired of getting over emotional and worn out?
Whether you are experiencing one or all of these, here are 5 top ways to replace unwanted feelings with calm satisfaction each day.
Reduce Stress
Identify feelings or behaviors you don't like, and change them.
At first you may not notice the feeling until after you have gone through it, that's fine. Think about how you would rather have felt. Think about how you would rather have handled yourself. Decide how you want to do it next time.
As you continue with this process each day you will find that you will notice more easily what you are doing throughout the day. You will begin to catch yourself earlier and earlier. Eventually, you will be seeing yourself while you are doing it, then stop yourself. At some point, you will notice before you even begin to feel and react in the undesirable way.
Here is where you will actually begin to change the way you react to the situations in your life and change your behavior.
Stay centered by refocusing throughout the day.
Develop the habit of paying attention to your mind set as the day goes on. Several times a day, step away from what you are doing to get re-centered. Sit down close your eyes and take several long slow deep breaths while imagining the tension washing slowly out of your body. Notice your breathing getting slower and calmer. Just think about your breath. Try to keep from thinking about anything in particular. It's ok to not be actively thinking for a while!
Watch out for your expectations.
You are setting yourself up for failure, upset and frustration when you set too many standards as to how you think things should be. Think about what leads to getting upset. Why does it set you off? Notice that you decide how many things should be, based on your own outlook and desire. The things others do that are not to your liking, even the things you do that don't match your expectations can be triggers.
Ask yourself...
really how important is it that they be exactly that way?
who am I to insist that they are that way?
does it matter that much?
is it worth getting myself worked up about?
Choose which expectations are really important to keep and which ones are not. Holding on to many expectations just complicates your life, with constant judgment.
Simplify your life and reduce stress!
Delegate.
This applies to your personal life as well as at work. Most of us think of delegating as a workplace skill, but it can apply personally as well. We are all very busy these days with our activities and duties. Trying to fit it all in and get it all accomplished can lead to tension.
For various reasons, many of us have developed the habit of thinking we must do it all ourselves. Take a look at your situation. Think about it, really, how important is it that everything must be done perfectly to your standards? Are you sure there are not other people who can assist you. Are the other people in your life pulling their weight?
Many times we get into habitual ruts that don't need to be as they are. Look at what has been, with the eye of reducing the pressure on yourself.
Accept yourself and other people as one.
As you think of yourself as different and separate from the rest of mankind, you unknowingly create thinking and behavior that separates you from others. This kind of separate thinking leads us to think we are superior to others, leading to judgment, selfish thinking and behavior. We end up having an internal battle with others, bringing about on fear, competition and comparison. This always ends in frustration and anxiety.
Discover how to see yourself as one with all of mankind, not as separate. Focus on what we have in common rather that the relatively small uniqueness.
About the Author: John Halderman is a writer, speaker and trainer, dedicated to helping people with getting real results with their personal development efforts. He supports strategies, methods, tools and information that actually bridge the gap between information and effective results. Visit: www.activepersonaldevelopment.com for a free information and newsletter www.trainerforce.com
Are you looking for more calm satisfying experiences in you daily life? Do you get frustrated with yourself at the end of the day, because you've been stressed, unfocused or agitated? Are you tired of getting over emotional and worn out?
Whether you are experiencing one or all of these, here are 5 top ways to replace unwanted feelings with calm satisfaction each day.
Reduce Stress
Identify feelings or behaviors you don't like, and change them.
At first you may not notice the feeling until after you have gone through it, that's fine. Think about how you would rather have felt. Think about how you would rather have handled yourself. Decide how you want to do it next time.
As you continue with this process each day you will find that you will notice more easily what you are doing throughout the day. You will begin to catch yourself earlier and earlier. Eventually, you will be seeing yourself while you are doing it, then stop yourself. At some point, you will notice before you even begin to feel and react in the undesirable way.
Here is where you will actually begin to change the way you react to the situations in your life and change your behavior.
Stay centered by refocusing throughout the day.
Develop the habit of paying attention to your mind set as the day goes on. Several times a day, step away from what you are doing to get re-centered. Sit down close your eyes and take several long slow deep breaths while imagining the tension washing slowly out of your body. Notice your breathing getting slower and calmer. Just think about your breath. Try to keep from thinking about anything in particular. It's ok to not be actively thinking for a while!
Watch out for your expectations.
You are setting yourself up for failure, upset and frustration when you set too many standards as to how you think things should be. Think about what leads to getting upset. Why does it set you off? Notice that you decide how many things should be, based on your own outlook and desire. The things others do that are not to your liking, even the things you do that don't match your expectations can be triggers.
Ask yourself...
really how important is it that they be exactly that way?
who am I to insist that they are that way?
does it matter that much?
is it worth getting myself worked up about?
Choose which expectations are really important to keep and which ones are not. Holding on to many expectations just complicates your life, with constant judgment.
Simplify your life and reduce stress!
Delegate.
This applies to your personal life as well as at work. Most of us think of delegating as a workplace skill, but it can apply personally as well. We are all very busy these days with our activities and duties. Trying to fit it all in and get it all accomplished can lead to tension.
For various reasons, many of us have developed the habit of thinking we must do it all ourselves. Take a look at your situation. Think about it, really, how important is it that everything must be done perfectly to your standards? Are you sure there are not other people who can assist you. Are the other people in your life pulling their weight?
Many times we get into habitual ruts that don't need to be as they are. Look at what has been, with the eye of reducing the pressure on yourself.
Accept yourself and other people as one.
As you think of yourself as different and separate from the rest of mankind, you unknowingly create thinking and behavior that separates you from others. This kind of separate thinking leads us to think we are superior to others, leading to judgment, selfish thinking and behavior. We end up having an internal battle with others, bringing about on fear, competition and comparison. This always ends in frustration and anxiety.
Discover how to see yourself as one with all of mankind, not as separate. Focus on what we have in common rather that the relatively small uniqueness.
About the Author: John Halderman is a writer, speaker and trainer, dedicated to helping people with getting real results with their personal development efforts. He supports strategies, methods, tools and information that actually bridge the gap between information and effective results. Visit: www.activepersonaldevelopment.com for a free information and newsletter www.trainerforce.com