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Post by lucie on Aug 15, 2006 6:43:18 GMT 10
Who is a grandmother here?
If not~~what kind of a grandmother do you wish to be in the futur?
AND~~the grandparents of your children~~do they have a special relationship with your children? Are they like what you had wished them to be?....
I am thinking alot about my children's grandparents....and how it didn't turn out like I thought it would. I would really like to learn more about each of you and see if your stories can ressemble ours...and if in fact I should work harder on accepting and stop being decieved.
Thank-you.
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Post by braided-rug on Aug 15, 2006 11:46:10 GMT 10
It takes some time to work out what your parents are really like.
My parents were divorced or seperated when I was 14. At 24 my Dad walked past me at a funeral, my eldest was one. I am guessing that either himself, his partner or both didn't want to be grandparents to my children. I don't have the opportunity to bump into him at his work anymore where we sometimes spoke.
My first sentence referred to my Mum. I was recounting my eldest's first day of school. How a big deal was made, but by the afternoon she was deeply in conversation with her husband about something and we were chased away. Then she spoke to me about her stepson's son's first day of school one day and I had to sit and listen.
My husband's parents, I could write the book about.
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Post by braided-rug on Aug 15, 2006 11:49:28 GMT 10
I don't know, how much can you say on the internet?
My children think things are fine, and really in effect they would be just as lonely as I am about family things because they are my children, which is sad. Mostly I bite my tongue, but as you know it is easy to overhear things in this house.
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Post by lucie on Aug 15, 2006 13:06:49 GMT 10
Linda, I am sorry that it is this way for you.  It really touches me. I had these questions because I have been feeling a bit sad... I do realize it is not easy for everyone. Do you feel sometimes that this makes you feel something is missing?....I feel this way many times and have for years but I always tried hard to keep my children happy and let nothing show...but lately it's been harder for me. Are you looking forward in being a grandmother?...It's strange....I have been thinking about this alot lately...and although I know my oldest son is only 17 and I hope I won't be a grandmother soon (kwim?...lol)...but I think about it and I want so much to be a grandmother who will be so close to her grandchildren, when my turn comes... What are your thoughts on this...? |
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Post by braided-rug on Aug 15, 2006 19:46:49 GMT 10
My son is a similar age and hopefully another 5 years would be good before I am a grandma.
Because my daughter is only 4 I am still very much in the mother stage and dealing with giving that up. Having a child leave home to go to school is making me more in the present and thinking about the next stages in life. When my daughter goes to school in February my husband and I agree I can take a year just to think.
I don't really think something is missing I don't think. I got used to it slowly and by the time I realised how bad it was I was very independent. I suppose in some way it was sorted out for me. I beleive one lot moved away to get away from us. We had spent alot of time entertaining one half of the family and and another lot of time helping out the other half and decided to just look after us. I get upset that I don't entertain anyone and feel less for that, especially thinking about entertaining future daughter in laws.
My husband thinks once my daughter is in school the house might slowly get back into shape and that I shouldn't blame myself.
I guess pacing myself is the strategy we use.
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Post by lucie on Aug 18, 2006 1:49:05 GMT 10
The reason that I feel something is missing is that until 10 years ago, my parents were very active and very part of our lives. It's not their fault...my father has just been getting more ill year after year...and I know my mother just got discouraged and tries to cope with this. In general I don't get down about our situation but time to time I think of how it would have been for my boys to have grandparents who were very much present in their lives... I'm feeling ok today about it. The other day, I was feeling down about it...now it has past, until the next time. Linda, your dh is right, your home will probably much more in order when your dd is in school. It's not your fault for sure. I imagine if it's like me, you are busy caring for your children....  |
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Post by braided-rug on Aug 18, 2006 13:39:13 GMT 10
Maybe no grandparent can sustain it forever iykwim? They are nearly the age of being ggrandparents.
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Post by lucie on Sept 3, 2006 11:23:03 GMT 10
I guess they are getting oolder but to me 64 yrs old is still young. My mom has more energy but my dad has just gotten worse~especially morally. He is very depressive and has many physical problems as diabetes, shaking all on his right side...continual pain on his right shoulder and side. I guess this diminishes your capacities... I know I complain for nothing, I know some don't even have their parents, but I also see some who have parents over 70 and still so much active and healthy. I really hope and I will try to do everything I can to be a healthy grandma, just like my ggrandmother. She lived until she was 87 yrs. and she lived on her own until she was 85. |
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It really touches me. I had these questions because I have been feeling a bit sad...