Admin
Major Contributor
formerly ~cara~
Posts: 4,651
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Post by Admin on Jun 16, 2005 23:17:50 GMT 10
I remember a bit ago on SG we talked about having people drop into our homes unannounced? Most of you said you didn't like that.
Why is it that you think you can't enjoy guests when they just show up?
And is being hospitable more than just housing a guest for overnight?
What are your thoughts?
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Sparkle
Bread Van Driver
Each day is a special gift!
Posts: 113
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Post by Sparkle on Jun 17, 2005 1:35:14 GMT 10
Ok, let me think about this quesion a bit...............and it's a good one Carolyn.
Well, a hundred years ago or more people out here in the west lived sometimes far apart and there were no phones or very few. It was common for someone to come visiting at any time. Hospitality back then was kind of "built in" so to speak. People were very happy to have guests and they didn't worry about weather the laundry was done or the floor was vac'd or not. They shared with their guests just what they had and enjoyed their time with them. Now, I know they had a LOT of daily work to do........and hard work but, friends and family came first I think. Now, times are different. We often feel we "Can't or Dont' want to" take time out unless we have it on our schedules. We are in a faster life style these days and basically we don't like being interuppted I think. I know, I have felt that feeling for a minute or two too on occasion. Now, that I'm older............I look at each visit as a gift of sorts. If I have to go pick someone up etc. at the moment they arrive............I take one or two of them with me and we go on from there. I think hospitality is the art of "comfortably" including them into your life for a short period of time.
I have also learned this one from time and "experience"............you never know for sure that that might just be the last time you will ever be able to see them again!
Just my opinion..............
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Admin
Major Contributor
formerly ~cara~
Posts: 4,651
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Post by Admin on Jun 17, 2005 1:39:57 GMT 10
Kind of like entertaining angels unaware, eh Phyll. I loved your input. Thanks
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Sparkle
Bread Van Driver
Each day is a special gift!
Posts: 113
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Post by Sparkle on Jun 17, 2005 13:51:12 GMT 10
Yes, that is exactly right Carolyn! You just never know.........................................
All I do know now is that I dont want to have to live my life saying.............IF ONLY, I had said, done, or taken the time for so and so............instead of thinking daily chores or whatever, is more important than a human being.
It just isn't!
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Post by ellise on Jun 18, 2005 6:08:47 GMT 10
While I don't like unexpected guest I do extend myself and be hospitable to them.. it's just when you have folks like my MIL who are allergic to cats (I have 3) or SFIL who is so sick and can't stand the ac on when it is 100° outside. It can be quite unbearable for others involved. Because MIL thinks it's OK to come in and turn the HEAT on in the middle of the summer at my house.
Back years ago, people respected the homes they visited and never meddled in things that were not their own.
Not the case with my MIL & SFIL. When they visit we have to "change" everything. Daniel is not allow to listen to his music or play his guitar, my cats have to be locked in a separate room, my heat is turned on and we end up outside of our own home, while they are inside without us. She changes my cabinets around to fit the way she wants them to be. goes through all of our personal belongings etc... It just makes for bad feelings.
When FIL & SMIL come to visit everything is just fine, no meddling and things just flow normally. Same as when My mother comes to visit.
Now like when I have friends who just pop in like Voodidit and her mom, things are just fine, I know they won't be changing anything and even if they stayed for a few days it'd be alright.
Daniel's friends pop over and never seem to leave!! trash my home, eat whatever they want (which doesn't bother me too much but don't eat everything! we are talking cases of soft drinks, huge bags of chipes, crackers, hot pockets etc...) and think nothing of it.
So in conclusion, I really don't mind when people pop in, it's just when they've worn out their welcome or take advantage of me that I can't handle.
Hope this made sense.
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Admin
Major Contributor
formerly ~cara~
Posts: 4,651
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Post by Admin on Jun 18, 2005 9:25:40 GMT 10
Made perfect sense, Lise..And while there are rules of etiquette for being hospitable, there are also rules for being a good guest. Seems your MIL need to hear about those.
Just hang in there and try to remember that she is Don's mom and did one good thing ...she gave birth to your darling...:-)
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Post by ellise on Jun 18, 2005 9:51:10 GMT 10
exactly right! I must admit she did give me a wonderful man!
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