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Post by braided-rug on Dec 10, 2007 11:59:29 GMT 10
I don't really like adding to these woes, they are hard enough. But have you come across those who say they things about a lot of children, but then accept a small family that has then been divorced and another small family, now making a large family?
Maybe the people saying these things could be asked how they would feel if a smaller family sibling did this? Maybe it would help?
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Post by violet on Dec 18, 2007 19:54:07 GMT 10
I tend to think people don't mean to be hurtful, it's just that small families are prevalent now. My three seem to count as a big family!
Also, when there are a number of kids to one set of parents, I know that some folks' first thought is that they couldn't cope with that number of births, or toddlers or whatever.
What I find odd is that so many people seem to think that everyone's the same as them.
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Post by braided-rug on Dec 18, 2007 20:17:32 GMT 10
I think I am learning your first point slowly, and I guess as the kids get older distancing myself from it as well. It is a popular topic on large family sites, though probably a bit negative and I do apologize for that.  I have just noticed that invitations with a certain number plus guests happened after difficulty with the larger number, though I guess people change. |
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Post by braided-rug on Dec 20, 2007 10:46:08 GMT 10
If I have offended I am really sorry.
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Post by violet on Jan 4, 2008 19:54:45 GMT 10
I don't think that anyone would be offended by your comments, Br - well, I suppose I shouldn't speak for anyone else, but I'm certainly not.  I think that some of us are more sensitive to criticism about our choices, and the number of kids we have is a choice that is obvious to other people, particularly when the family is out together! ;D I used to shrivel up inside when people looked down at me for what I wore, or the stuff we have in the house. The bulk of our furniture is old/cheap/recycled, which is apparently not the "done thing" where we live. Anyway, I think that resilience is a good thing. I find that people often have an opinion about how I run my life/raise my kids/brush my hair/breathe, and they're welcome to it ;D because if they don't like it, that's their problem. Then again, I'm old and grumpy.  final edit, I promise!! Hope I haven't completely misunderstood what you were saying in the first place, Br. If so, I am sorry. |
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I have just noticed that invitations with a certain number plus guests happened after difficulty with the larger number, though I guess people change. 
