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Post by lhollyberry on Nov 11, 2005 9:30:15 GMT 10
My daughter just turned 9 last month, and has gotten into the habit of lying to me. It's always something that really would have been no big deal if she had told me the truth in the first place. I've grounded her, I've taken away privileges, we've discussed what would have happened if she had been truthful in the first place, but she doesn't seem to get the message that lying is not acceptable. I know kids live in the moment and can't relate to future events as consequences of their behaviors now, but I'm just clueless on how to stop this problem.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Hugs,
Lisa
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Post by braided-rug on Nov 11, 2005 9:52:45 GMT 10
I have the same problem with my daughter who is 9 in February, only she borrows or takes money without asking first from her family. It is all related to food or seeing things in the shops. It would be easier if I picked her up from school, like I used to.
My daughter had alot of changes last year, and at the moment she has a new teacher. Do you think your daughter has had alot of changes this year? I have heard alot of people say things about their kids the same age. Maybe it is their generation. It is really hard though, I haven't been through this before.
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Admin
Major Contributor
formerly ~cara~
Posts: 4,651
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Post by Admin on Nov 11, 2005 10:07:04 GMT 10
Lisa,
I have three grown children. Let me assure you that your dd isn't abbormal. Kids at that age are testing you and their wings. They want to see how much they can get away with and how far they can push you.
If I were you, I would find the thing that would hurt her the most and remove it..TV, video's music, visits from friends.
I agree too with br that kids who have alot of change seem to do these types of things.
Your a great mom, just hang in there. Let us know how it goes, we care!
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Post by lhollyberry on Nov 11, 2005 10:09:14 GMT 10
Yes, she has had some changes, including a new school, and I now have someone in my life now who is long term. I wondered if the lying was related to stress and change, but regardless of the root cause, it is still a problem and I don't know how to get her to stop.
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Post by braided-rug on Nov 11, 2005 12:33:48 GMT 10
If you keep any changes to a minimum for awhile that will help. I forgot that and signed dd up for a class in July. I agree with Car our daughter seems to be wanting boundaries.
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Post by lhollyberry on Nov 12, 2005 6:41:34 GMT 10
Thank you to Car and BR for your responses and your wonderful encouragement yesterday. We're moving next week to a house across town, but my mother lives just a half-mile from the elementary school where my daughter attends 3rd grade. We've worked it out where she will be able to remain at the school for the rest of this school year. So...that's one thing that will definitely help my precious girl handle the changes we're facing with our move. We've lived in the same house for 8 years, so it's the only home she's ever known, so I'm eager to make it as non-traumatic as possible for her. She's a lot like her mom--neither of us handle change very well.
Love and hugs,
Lisa
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Post by braided-rug on Nov 12, 2005 9:13:41 GMT 10
Moving to me has been a major hurdle. The first time it helped that there were alot of familiar plants in the garden, but that is just me I suppose. We did have a 9 year old then. I guess they had a little time to get used to it because we were allowed to look after the garden before we moved in.
All the best with your move!
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